"Eden is that old-fashioned House"

 One of the similarities that stand out most to me between the events that transpired in Genesis and the ones of Emily Dickinson’s poem is the sense of naiveness and innocence, and how quickly those feelings are lost in both stories. Dickinson references the blind familiarity one feels in their place of living if they never leave, and how they live “. . . without suspecting [their] abode.” It is true that if someone has one ever known only one environment then they have no others to compare it to, and thus are unaware of the blessings or dangers they may experience in this one environment; they lack the knowledge of these positive or negative parts of life, and live in their own bubble of unawareness and naivety. Additionally, after the narrator's departure from her home, she tells listeners she can “. . . discover it no more,” referring to how once one has left a place, they cannot ever experience it the way they did the very first time. Other parts of life they encounter continuously reshape the way one perceives their own existence and events they confront, and combined with revisiting a place already in one's memory almost guarantees this fact. From this, we see the naive nature the narrator possesses while living in the same place day in and day out instant begin to lessen when she leaves and realizes what wonders and horrors truly exist in the world. Eve’s life plays out quite similarly, within the realm of innocence. In the time period before she eats from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, Eden and it’s wonders were the only thing she's ever known. Both she and Adam have no awareness of good and evil, much like the narrator had no knowledge of the world outside her home. Eve did not understand how splendid a place Eden was and took for granted the wonders of the garden. Her innocence and lack of worldly knowledge is more apparent when the serpent so easily tricks her into eating the fruit, telling her “. . . ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil,” and she eats said fruit without further questions. Ironically, the serpent was right, for now they have acts of evil and good to compare their schema to, and can therefore distinguish which is which: Eve eats from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and God alters their life for the worse, making childbearing painful and giving Adam dominion over her, in addition to being evicted from paradise. Again, this parallels Dickinson’s poem. Eve, in both situations, lives unaware of the world around her until something changes that allows her to understand good and evil. Eve’s situation is not unlike those real people experience everyday; we may think we’ve experienced many of parts of life, but the reality is the world is so large and the feelings we have are so infinite, we can never begin to experience all there is to life, and thus constantly live in naivety.

This is especially true for us young seniors, about to leave our parents’ home for the first time and begin our journey to adulthood. Now, this is a subject I’m quite conflicted about. For the most part, I’m terrified. I feel like if I don’t have a grip on how the world works by the time I leave, I’ll never get my s#!% together. I honestly do feel like Eve, having never seen the real world and being so naive, only with much more anxiety; Eve does not seem to be concerned, but I, however, am. I don’t know how to cook, money is confusing, and I’ll be alone. I feel that this change happens so suddenly, as one day we’re living like kids in our parents houses and the next we have our own place to live with our own responsibilities to take care of. We are thrown out into the world, trying to make a life for ourselves as quickly as possible, another situation that parallels Eve’s leaving from Eden. One second she only knows this lush garden, and nothing is right or wrong, and the next second she is thrown into the real world, and knows too much of good and evil, having experienced it herself. Apart from not knowing how to be an adult, I am also sad about having to leave my home. Where I live now is my “old-fashioned house,” my place of comfort. However, college does not only conjure up dread for me; I long to be an independent person, who is in control of my own life. College is a chance to really explore who I am outside of my family, and I think that is something I desperately need. I never truly felt like I had control of my own life, as nearly everything was dictated by my parents or school, and leaving my home is the best chance I’ll have at this I believe. I can only hope this departure has a more positive effect on me than it did for Eve in Genesis.

I’ve already gone on about how afraid I am to leave, and I hate to make this sound more depressing, but I think it’s important to examine why: I hate change, and I have a mild bipolar disorder that doesn’t feel so mild some days. I thrive in familiarity, and I am the type that lives by the same schedule, day in and day out. I am afraid that upon my arrival back home, nothing will be as I left it, or at least from my point of view. My family dynamic will undoubtedly be different. I am scared I’ll never reconnect with some of my friends who mean more to me than they could ever know, and our relationships will fail. I’m afraid that everything that has held me together at home suddenly will not be able to when I return, and I must find new ways to take care of myself, alone. The thing I am most nervous about is that my home will no longer feel like home. By home, I do not just mean the place where one's mail gets delivered: home to me is a sense of comfort and belonging. I am beginning to realize how much of my life here in Bethany, Connecticut I have been taking for granted, now that my departure is imminent. At the end of a long day, I just want to crawl into my bed, in my room with my cats, after my parents say goodnight to me. I know one day that won’t be my home anymore, but I fear it’s happening sooner than I expected. My room is my safe place and my retreat; I’ve spent years just hanging and painting random crap onto my walls, and it somehow grew into what I would consider to be the perfect Daelyn sanctuary. There’s nothing else I can describe it as except for home. I truly have fostered such an appreciation for my home and family, stupid little Bethany, and scenic New England, I dread the day when this place is no longer considered my home. I am not a stable person, and live life at either extreme highs or lows, with not much else in between; my house became the place that mediates these extremes. As much as I fear falling apart when I finally leave, I know I must keep in mind change is good. I don’t agree, but apparently it’s true. So, I will try my best to see all the good this new part of my life has to offer, as I leave my naivety behind. It is time to grow up, and accept these responsibilities, whether I want to or not. It is finally time for me to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.